8 months later.............

Wow! It has been nearly 8 months, since I last post. And, THAT AIN'T RIGHT!!! Sigh... It has been a bumpy, loop filled, back of neck jerking type of ride. I have let emotions, and feelings, and symptoms hold back my posting. And, WHERE WE DO THT AT??!!! I know. Evidently, (here). All of a sudden, I'm allowing this diagnosis to hault me on all corners. Wait. Oh, yeah. I haven't posted since February. Well............................. Since Febryary, I have been diagnosed with lupus and fibromyalgia. May was Lupus, (go figure, it being lupus awareness month), and July was Fibromyalgia. Yes, two fun ones. Both have no cure, but that does not make it a death sentence for me. I have a mild case of lupus. I don't get the famous butterfly rash accross the nose and cheeks. Nor, do I get the organ involvement. But, I do get the fatigue, joint pain, digestive problems, cognitive problems (fog and problem concentrating), vertigo, and weakness in extremeties (arms and legs), PLUS some numbness and tingling. And, no.. Not that good tingling that you get, when the person you like touches your arm or finally NOTICES YOU. Naw, ahhh ah! That, oh my gosh, I think my arm is going numb, geesh, I may be having a stroke or heart attack tingling. Fun, right?! And, with fibromyalgia, the same symptoms occur. The only difference, is my tendons all over my body are tender and painful to the touch. Can, you say: double the symptoms...?! Streamers and ballons, over here. Ha! As, you can see, I have learned to joke, with the two. You have to, or you will go CRAZY, straight LOONEY TOONES, with Myra chasing you into the big W, along with the other characters o_0. Bcuz, of the health thing, I no longer work. And, if I do go back, it will be part time. These symptoms strike at any given time they feel like it. Selfish, right?!! Tell me about it (makes cute digusted face)!@#!!

Sleep, The Foreign Language..

11:51pm on this Saturday night, and I'm eyes wide open! No heaviness of the lids or yawns. Feel like an imaginary being has my eyes hostage. Last night, I didn't fall asleep until the wee hours of morning around 3:30. Then woke up at 6:45am. This restlessness has been consisted for about 3 straight days. A company that's wearing out its welcome. In addition to sleepless nights, comes sleep during the day. This occurs, even if I get 7 or more hours. I'm still in recovery, since my recent surgery. Meaning, no set time to wake up in the morning, or go to sleep during the night. Despite, the sleepless nights, I'm coming along.
*coming along*

Not So Fast Missie.... We Got Some Surgery For You!

Last Wednesday (2/2/12), was consistent with stomach discomfort, and pain that overpowered sleep and focus. Like, waves of pain , crashing violently againgst the walls of my abdomen. It lasted for two days. Then on Friday, after work, I decided (with the persuasion of my mother) to go the ER. As I walked in the ER, on a Friday afternoon.... There was no one there. It was empty; which is rare. But, when God orchestrats a thing, all that is unusual, becomes into EXISTENCE!! The pain was getting more and more uneasy, as I sat and waited for doctors to figure out my new extended symptom. I figured it was something I ate, mixed with stubborn constipation. Blood work was done. Then a sonogram. The sonogram revealed a shadow. So, then another sonogram was performed. One PA student suggested a CT Scan. And I thank God for her! The CT Scan showed an inflammed appendix. I waited. By this time, it was 5 something in the am of Saturday. The surgeon comes in, and states that removal of my appendix, is mandatory. I pause. He jumps in, and states that surgery is needed NOW. I couldn't swallow it all. My surgery was in an hour in a half. Still stuck... I went into prayer. Because, that's all I knew to do. God granted PEACE. The surgery was a success. To God be the GLORY!!! I have never had a problem with my appendix, until now...
Another symptom to go in the bag.
Diagnosis, here I come!

Sunday Evening continues.... Into Monday Morning

So.. The heating pad worked, for when it was there. It relieved little thrombing, but not much. Took me awhile before I rested. Kept tossing, turning and switching from fetal to supine. Woke up with that same ache. It decided to go to work with me and get ALLLL in the way. But I managed through it, like I "always do". It's 9:12pm and it still remains in its achiness. It gets worst, before the better comes.
Closer to my diagnosis...... Just have to ENDURE. And I shall.

Sunday Evening..

Pain in upper left back, below the shoulder blade. Kind of behind the breast bone.. Dull and achey. Constant for 5 hours. Accompanied with shortness of breath. A pressure-like feeling radiating without relief. Pain meds don't seem to be kicking it. Will try heating pad to relief some sort of discomfort. Was feeling fine doing the earlier parts of the day.

Friday Night Fatigue.... Ugh!

It hit me around 7 oclock. I was out, doing some shopping, and was hit with surge of FATIGUE. It started between my shoulder blades, and made its course down my back, then extended itself throughout my limbs. Spin cycling through my body. Radiating with NO EXIT. I pushed passed it, and kept shopping. But, eventually, I had to make my exit back towards the front of the store. The feeling was getting a bit consuming, to the point, where my equilibrium was being affected. Staggering home like a drunk, without the alcohol consumption.
At home (now) waiting for it to pass....
*My Friday Night*

After The Appointment

Feeling pretty good. Scratch that. Feeling pretty BLESSED, FAVORED, and GRATEFUL.
1st my vitals were taken. BP was a little low. Waited.... Then I was called back. Greeted by the doctor. He was friendly. I camed EQUIPPED with my medical records (hint, hint). And check this out.....
Brownie Point 1: The doc reviewed them!!!
No doctor has EVER looked over my records. They just picked over certain points, and concluded in a DISMISSAL.
A head to toe exam was done.
Brownie Point 2: And plenty of notes were taken!!!
Not just "the criteria notes", but non conventional-out of the box notes.
Repeated blood work was done. And a bunch of appointmnets were made.
For the first time... I walked away from an appointment feeling ASSURED.
God was all up and through that atmosphere. He orchestrated the whole thing! He gave ADDED KNOWLEDGE to the right persons.
Oh, the MIRACLES that take place when you put your TRUST in God.
Father CAME THROUGH for His child.
Asking (now) for continued TRUST on that level.
*One Step Away From A Diagnosis*

 

Appointment Day!!!

At John Hopkins.. In tears. Because, God made this POSSIBLE! I prayed last night, and received my CONFIRMATION in a dream. Woke up, IN AMOUR. God is my Physician. I'm in His Hands. He made room for this, so I TRUST Him in this.. GLORY BE UNTO Him!!! Awaiting to be called back......

The Day Before The BIG John Hopkins Day....!

Wednesday.... 10:51pm. And, my stomach is a ball of unstretched noodles.. I am nervous, and EXCITED about my appointment on tomorrow. THIS HAS BEEN THE APPOINTMENT OF A LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG TIME COMING!!! Shoot... this appointment should be free, after alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, and I do mean alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the doc appointments and ER visits that I have encounter, for them to tell me "we don't know". But, nothing the less.... I'm filled with anticipation (when you think about it, is the sum of nervousness and excitement).

January 2012

I woke to my alarm this morning at 6am. Of COURSE I SNOOZED THE 1ST REMINDER TO GET UP. But, then I snoozed the next, then the next one, THEN THE NEXT!!! Not, because I was sleep deprived, but because I couldn't lift my body. It wasn't TIREDNESS that I was ex-piernc-ing... It was morning fatigue. I couldn't lift my body to sit up. I mean, I struggled for about 35 minutes. And, the reason why I know it was exactly 35minutes, is because, my alarm sends a 5 minute reminder, after a snooze, until you press DISMISS. Well, I was trying to DISMISS the fatigue, so I wouldn't risk being late for work, but it wouldn't go away. At 6:35, I FINALLY used all the strength I had, and threw my body upward. I felt really, really drowsy; as if I took a sleep aide... Getting dressed, was at a slow rate. Even my speech was a little slurred. I had to keep repeating words to my mom, who called to check on me. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open on the ride to work. This lasted for 2 hours, then slowly faded away... My day resumed at a "normal" pace.

1st Symptom..

The first symptom I had, was during my freshman year of college in 2004. I was laying in the bed, D-R-EA-D-I-N-G the fact that I signed up for a 8 oclock class. I already had it in my mind, that I wasn't going.. And, that I would go to breakfast instead (what's 1 class right). As, I rose to get dressed... I didn't. My whole body was stiff. I mean, I couldn't move a limb. All that seemed to move, were tears down my face. For, I couldn't understand what the heck was going on. My roommate was gone, and all that remained in the room were me and non-movement. I layed there at least 10 minutes, before movement found its way back to my body. It took me awhile to raise up, but once I did, I jetted to the student medical center. The nurses looked at me like I was an ABSTRACT PIECE. The reason why, was because I "looked normal". The nurse pursuaded me, that I suffered from a spasm of some sort, gave me an aspirin and sent me on my way...

ABSTRACT KIND OF LIFE..

LIFE, is an abstract-1-of-a-kind ART PIECE. Many will view it at particular angles... Some will get disgust at its whirlpool of colors and textures. While others, will admire its unpredictable-ness. Ironically, we will all VIEW IT (TOGETHER) AT THE SAME ANGLE, with the continuous of living. What's Your Angle Looking Like??? For me... I find my angle at an ADMIRABLE scope! Even, if I don't understand all of its LOOPS and SPLATTERS. But, WAIT......... Isn't that the point of an ABSTARCT...??!!